I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
