3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
In America we eat man semen.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
