Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
