I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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