Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
