My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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