yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
