i think my tv is drunk
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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