You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
