Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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