Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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