he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize