left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
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