i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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