You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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