He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
wow bdsm is so cute
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize