I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
