how can u be prego again
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
