It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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