We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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