Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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