Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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