i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize