Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
