What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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