so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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