Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
