The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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