It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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