Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
