i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
