Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
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We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
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Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize