yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Dear god my vagina.
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