Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
did you just send me my own nude
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
