Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
