I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
