2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
