dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
