she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
