I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Randomize
