dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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