i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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