I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
