Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
