I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
