i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
