I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
