chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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