It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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