To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
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I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
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