So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
