Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i think my mom watched the whole time
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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