Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
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