Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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