Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
