If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
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He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
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Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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