is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
