After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
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His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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