she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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