he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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