I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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