Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
