He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
