Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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