it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
