You can't motorboat a personality
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
