Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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