in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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