I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she told me i tasted like america
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
